


Everything Has Changed

by Latch4life



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Light Angst, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-02 14:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latch4life/pseuds/Latch4life
Summary: Friends with benefits is simple enough, until it isn't.OrTessa faces a loss and almost loses herself, and Scott in the process.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on a Virtue-Moir piece that I had intended to be angsty ("Work in Progress"), but it's coming out fluffier than cotton candy. To satiate my need to write something angsty, dramatic and emotional, I give you "Everything Has Changed."
> 
> Please leave comments and let me know your thoughts. I appreciate them more than I can say!

It had started a few weeks after the Olympics. Free from the rigors of training and intense schedules and self-denial, they had shared a bottle of wine, settling on the couch in her cottage to unwind and watch a movie.

They were only a few minutes into the film as his mind drifted, taking extra note of the way her fingertips absentmindedly stroked his bare arm, his entire body warm from the wine and from her touch. With each subconscious skim of her gentle fingertips, he could feel his breath quickening, his palms sweating, and the tiny hairs on his arms standing up. 

He turned slightly, his eyes glassy and dark with a desire she had seen before but usually chose to ignore. The way in which he stared at her made her blush, nervous about the sudden quickening of her heartbeat and the ringing in her ears. There had been a few moments of weakness in the past, but they had moved past them with counseling, and put their focus on one goal. Now, that goal was behind them and he was in front of her, looking so damn delicious.

"T..." He trailed off, his eyes darting between her gorgeous green orbs and her lips, slightly reddened from the wine. God, she was beautiful.

Her tongue darted out, moistening her lips and that was all of the invitation he needed, his right hand landing on the back of her neck, his lips crashing into hers.

It certainly wasn't the first time, but it had been such a long time since they gave into such temptation. Once their lips collided that night, it was like a floodgate had been opened, and neither of them was sure they could close it again.

They couldn't get enough of each other, their bodies craving something only the other could provide. Beneath every touch, she felt like her skin was on fire and every time she whimpered against his ear, he swore he had never heard anything more beautiful.

Before either of them could catch their breath from the intensity of the kiss, she was peeling off his shirt, his hands burning her skin as they slid under her shirt, his touch sinfully delightful. After all this time, they deserved this.

It was a flash of heat and passion, fast and furious right there on her couch, their sweaty bodies clinging to each other in ways they had deprived themselves for so long. She hadn't realized how much she needed this until he was inside of her, his body pleasuring hers in ways she had only dreamed of for so long. Sure, she had been with other men, but no one knew her body the way Scott did. It was like he was an extension of her.

They were quiet afterwards, his lips brushing her shoulders, hands gently caressing her back as she lay partially on top of him on the couch, a small blanket pulled over their naked bodies.

"T, that was amazing." He finally breathed out, his lips brushing her forehead as she lifted her eyes to his.

"You think it was a fluke?" She asked, a raised eyebrow challenging him. "Can it always be that good?"

That was all the encouragement he had needed, her giggles echoing through the small cottage as he rolled off the couch, lifting her in his arms and carrying her to the bedroom.

The second time was slower, more sensual and more deliberate, but had her begging him for things she didn't even know she wanted.

That night was where it had all started a few months ago, and since then, they couldn't seem to get enough of each other.

They still maintained the party line of "just friends" or "business partners," late night hotel visits be damned. A little bit of sex wasn't going to mess up twenty years of friendship and partnership. Things had heated up a bit on the ice, his hands occasionally lingering longer than usual or her lips brushing his neck, but they claimed they were just friends, despite the fact that they were ravaging each other at every chance they got. It was a delicious addiction and they couldn't get enough.

Sometimes she swore their on ice performances were a twisted foreplay, seeing how turned on they could make each other when they had hours before they could be together. Those hours were the most torturous hours of their days, but the payoff always seemed worth it. 

They were just having fun, they told themselves. They were young and attractive and they had basic needs that needed to be relieved. It just made sense to them to consider their relationship one of no strings attached, friends using each other for pleasure since neither of them had the time or the desire to date anyone else.

They'd be touring for months and hotel rooms often got lonely. What better way to pass the nights than in the arms of your best friend, gasping in pleasure?

That's how they rationalized every late night visit, every morning late to rehearsal because they couldn't get enough of each other. There had even been a few times they had slipped away during a group outing, their bodies frantically seeking each other in an empty bar bathroom or in a rink shower.

They were about three months into their arrangement when she found herself alone in a hotel room, a small white stick showing two pink lines.


	2. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight. She’s going to tell him tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to apologize in advance for this. It’s going to get worse before it gets better. :(
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts!

It had been three weeks and seven pregnancy tests, and she still hadn’t told him. She ran through scenarios in her mind, over and over again, trying to decide the best way to let Scott know that his life was about to be turned upside down. How would he react?

She had contemplated telling him so many times already. There was that one night she considered whispering it to him as they laid in bed, naked, sweaty and tangled together in a hotel room somewhere in Saskatoon. She had also considered telling him on the ice, whispering it into his ear in front of an audience, but her logical side told her that that probably wasn’t the best idea. 

When they had started sleeping together a few months ago, they had agreed to keep it light and uncomplicated, and this...this was as far from uncomplicated as things could possibly get.

She thought they had been careful, but apparently they hadn’t been careful enough, her fingers drifting to her still flat stomach, her mind racing.

Maybe she hadn’t told him yet because she just wasn’t ready. The thought of having a baby terrified her. She had never considered herself a particularly maternal person, but she had to admit that as terrified as she was, her heart happily skipped a beat when she thought about the prospect of holding a baby, her baby... _their_ baby in her arms.

As scared as she was, she already found herself wondering if the baby would be a goofball like Scott, or if he or she would have her green eyes. Would it be blessed with athletic talent or would it be a total klutz? Would it be a boy or a girl? A hockey player or a ballerina?

“Tonight.” She decides, looking at herself in the mirror and tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. After the show, she’d pull Scott into a hug, and tell him they needed to talk. She’d sit next to him and hold his hand and tell him that even though it was an accident, she wanted to have his baby. She’d tell him that they could figure everything else out later, and if everything went the way she imagined it would, his face would shift from shock to nervousness to pure adulation. He’d pull her into his arms and kiss her forehead and tell her that it would be okay and that they could do anything together.

~~~

“I can’t wait to get you alone tonight.” He whispered into her ear, his hand playfully squeezing her thigh beneath the table as they waited their next group of fans to approach. “The things I’m going to do to you...”

He trailed off, his lips barely brushing her ear as she jerked away, a wave of nausea running through her body. She was suddenly hot and dizzy, and she was certain it wasn’t because of Scott’s dirty talk.

“T, you okay?” He asked, the protective concerned Scott quickly replacing the playful, horny guy he had been just seconds earlier. “You look really pale all of a sudden.”

“Just a little light-headed,” she admitted, resting her head against the table, as a wave of cramps ran through her abdomen. She had read that an early symptom of pregnancy was cramps, but they passed quickly.

A bottle of water and some ginger ale were quickly brought over, Scott fanning her with a Stars on Ice program that he had found nearby. He offered to leave the meet and greet, to take her back to the hotel or to find her somewhere to lay down, but she declined, chalking it all up to a mixture of nerves, exhaustion and maybe even a touch of the “morning” sickness she had yet to experience.

He held her hand, his eyes concerned as she smiled at him. “I’m okay, it’s passing.” She smiled, “I just didn’t eat enough today with all of the running around going on.”

It wasn’t a lie. She had been shopping with a friend before the show and she had only had a quick salad for lunch much earlier. Maybe she needed to begin being more conscious of eating for two. “Okay...we can leave if you want, go get something to eat?”

“Scott, I’m fine, I promise.” She smiled, her hand squeezing his gently as she gestured to security to resume the line of fans. 

~~~

After the meet and greet, she had assured him she was okay, doing her best to choke down a cheeseburger and fries despite the waves of nausea that continued to hit her. Now she was certain it was a combination of nerves and pregnancy hormones.

They had entered the hotel lobby together, immediately being called to the bar by Andrew and Kaitlyn, who she believed may be enjoying a similar arrangement to theirs.

She sipped a ginger ale while Scott ordered a beer, finally excusing herself and saying she was tired. She had gone back to her hotel room alone, leaving him at the hotel bar with some of the other skaters who had shown up. “Come join me when you’re done with your beer,” she murmured into his ear, knowing she needed a few minutes to prepare herself for what was sure to be the biggest conversation of their lives.

She dug through her clothes, wondering what to change into to tell her best friend that he had knocked her up while they were exploring the benefits side of their friendship. She settled on a pair of black leggings and an Adidas sweatshirt, slipping into the bathroom for a quick shower to freshen up. 

She wanted to be prepared in case she and Scott decided to _benefit_ each other a bit more after she told him the news.

As she stepped out of her clothes and into the shower, she knew it immediately, the sudden cramping in her abdomen, the nausea, the blood...

“Oh no...no no no...” She whimpered, realizing what was happening.


	3. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to be upset with her, but how can he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of the continued feedback! I promise it'll get better... Just not in this chapter.

The text only said three simple words: I need you.

He moved quickly, paying his tab and excusing himself from the other skaters. He had figured he’d give her a little more time as to not make it obvious, but there was a weird desperation in the simplicity of her text.

As he waited for the elevator, his mind drifted to earlier in the evening when she hadn’t felt well and he instinctively found himself hoping that she didn’t need him because she was sick. Tessa never handled being sick well, she was a terrible patient, wanting to rush her sickness to get back on the ice or in the gym. For as logical as she was, she had a hard time slowing down to rest when she was under the weather.

He pushed the button for the 8th floor, his mind drifting to the other possible meaning behind her text. Maybe she _needed_ him in the way he had been dreaming about all day. He swallowed back the lump in his throat just thinking about her naked body, writing passionately above him, the way whimpers of pleasure escaped from her lips...God, he hoped that’s what she needed.

Stepping off the elevator, he quickly made his way to room 814, slipping the keycard she had given him earlier from his pocket into the lock.

“Tess?” He called out, his eyes drifting around the room. Clothes were strewn about as if she had been looking for something and he noticed the ajar bathroom door, steam drifting into the bedroom. “T?”

His heartbeat increased as he took a few quick strides across the room, pushing the bathroom door open, his eyes immediately taking in the sight before him, his heart catching in his throat.

“T, my God. What happened?”

She was in the shower, sitting on the floor, her legs drawn up close to her chest in an almost fetal position. “Scott...I’m sorry,” she cried, her face streaked with mascara, the warm water drifting down her face.

“You’re sorry?” He asked, unsure if he had ever seen her so distraught. They had been through a lot together, but his heart was shattering at the sight of her. “What happened?” He whispered, kneeling alongside the tub, one hand gently reaching for her.

She seemed to recoil a bit at the touch of his hand, her sobs growing louder. “I’m so sorry, Scott. I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Oh, Tess,” he sighed, his heart sinking. “It’s your legs again, isn’t it? They’ve been hurting you and you’ve been hiding it-“

“No,” She interjected, between gasps. “Not my legs.”

“You’re scaring me kiddo.” He whispered, a million terrible thoughts running through his head. “You can tell me anything. Are you sick?”

“I...I...” She stammered, her tears falling harder, seemingly in tandem with the shower which they had yet to shut off.

“Baby,” he whispered, not caring that he usually only called her that in the throes of passion. “Talk to me.”

“Baby...” She sighed, wiping back tears. “Scott, I lost our baby.”

His face fell, confusion then realization then shock then heartbreak crossing his features in a matter of seconds. “Baby?” He stuttered.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” she sobbed. “I was just waiting for the right time. And now it’s too late.”

Wordlessly, he climbed into the shower, the warm water soaking through his T-shirt and jeans as he wrapped his arms around her. She had never felt so broken in his arms before, even immediately after the surgery on her legs. He held her tightly, knowing he should be upset that she had kept this from him, but realizing that, at this point, this was even bigger than that secret.

He rested on his knees, cradling her against his chest in the small bathtub. Although she resisted temporarily, her arms reached around his neck, clinging to him as she cried. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She repeated again and again, burying her face in his wet T-shirt.

His clothes were soaked as he cradled her in his arms, wordlessly lifting her out of the tub and carrying her to the bed in the adjoining room. He gathered up towels, wrapping them around her body as she sat silently, her crying the only sound in the room.

“Shhh Tess,” he whispered soothingly, his hand gently sliding up and down her back as his mind raced. He would need to process this later; right now he needed to take care of his best friend. “Tess, I’m here,” he assured her, feeling helpless as she cried in his arms.

He pulled away briefly, digging out an oversized T-shirt, his eyes meeting hers to implore her to lift her arms. She did so wordlessly, allowing him to pull the shirt over her head.

He quickly stripped out of his soaking clothes, settling in a pair of boxers and a T-shirt before settling back down on the bed next to her. She laid down, her back to him, as he wrapped his arms tightly around her from behind. “It’s gonna be okay,” he hushed out, fingertips sliding up and down her arms, as she whimpered in his arms. “I’m here, always.”

He held her until she cried herself to sleep, unwilling to allow his mind to drift to anger or to his own sadness. How could he miss something he didn't even know he had?


	4. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time after Sochi had nearly wrecked him and he knew he couldn't go through that again. He had fallen into a dark place back then, a slippery slope of drinking too much and caring too little. In fact, it had taken awhile, but he was certain that it was Tessa who had saved him from himself.
> 
> He couldn't lose her. He was fairly certain that at this point in his life, he would die without her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was struggling with inspiration to write this one, but I hope you like it...

It had been a week since he had found her in the shower, her naked body quivering and shaking with sobs as she whispered that she had miscarried the baby he didn't even know they had made. The tour was winding down today, but over the last week, once again, everything had changed.

She hadn't left her hotel room except to skate, and even when she was on the ice, she wasn't his normal, present Tessa. She was going through the motions, but there was no emotion in her face or in her skating. It was like skating with a shell of Tessa and unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

She rarely smiled and except for on the ice, she refused his touches. She seemed to recoil every time he tried to rest his hand on her back or reached for her hand.

She had gone to the doctor that morning, and despite his insistence on accompanying her, she hasn't allowed him to come into the exam room. So instead, he sat in the waiting room, head in his hands.

When she finally emerged from the visit, her cheeks were streaked with tears yet again and she simply offered him a nod before pushing past him out into the cool and rainy Vancouver air. He tried to reach for her, to comfort her, to reassure him, but she pushed him away, a wall suddenly around her, both physical and emotional.

They sat silently in the car, her body turned away from him as she stared out the window, clearly a million miles away. Fittingly, rain poured from the sky, the weather matching the somber mood as he drove the short distance back to their hotel.

As they pulled into a parking spot, he had barely stopped the car before she was trying to get out. He hit the lock button on the door, preventing her desperate attempt at an escape. "Tess, stop, we need to talk."

"No, Scott, we don't." She refused to meet his desperate eyes, still staring blankly out the window.

"Tess, look at me. I'm here for you."

"No," she shook her head, teeth digging hard into her bottom lip as she fought back another round of tears. Even during her worst leg pain and surgery recovery, she hadn't cried this much. It turns out that emotional pain is a hell of a lot worse than physical pain.

He reached for her gently, fingertips lightly brushing her hand as she pulled it away, tugging at the door handle. "I can't do this, Scott. Not now."

Defeated, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and unlocked the door, watching as she climbed out and headed into the hotel without ever turning around.

He sat silently for a moment, finally at his breaking point as he slammed his fists into the steering wheel, a guttural scream escaping as his lips. "Fuckkkkk!" He cursed, anger giving way to desperation and despair, as tears welled up in his arms. It was like the floodgates had suddenly broken, a week's worth of emotions escaping him as the sobs rose in this throat, tears streaming down his cheeks as he buried his face in his hands. He didn't know if he was crying over losing the baby or seeing Tessa in so much pain...or the possibility of losing Tessa. He could get through a lot of things, but he was fairly certain that he'd never recover from the last one.

The time after Sochi had nearly wrecked him and he knew he couldn't go through that again. He had fallen into a dark place back then, a slippery slope of drinking too much and caring too little. In fact, it had taken awhile, but he was certain that it was Tessa who had saved him from himself.

He couldn't lose her. He was fairly certain that at this point in his life, he would die without her.

~~~

As they stood in the tunnel about to take the ice for their final performance of "Moulin Rouge" on the Canadian leg of the tour, she stood quietly, her arms wrapped around her body. She was still and detached from everything and she just wanted this to be over. She didn't want to have to look into his eyes or feel his hands on her skin. She didn't want to have to pretend to be having a good time, she just wanted to curl up in her hotel bed and sleep.

A prescription sleep-aid was waiting for her and she couldn't wait to take the small pills and slip into a place without pain. A place without failure. Without thoughts of her body betraying her, of her betraying Scott, of thoughts of what could've been. Scott would've been an amazing dad... She shook her head, warding off tears. They had to skate, she couldn't do this right now, she couldn't cry.

He wordlessly came up next to her, hands clenched in front of him so he wouldn't touch her until they were on the ice. She had recoiled from him enough this week for him to feel utterly rejected and helpless.

"Don't shut me out," he whispered softly, and she turned to look at him, to really look at him, for the first time in a week. She gasped audibly, taking in the few days worth of stubble peppering his face, the exhaustion in his bloodshot eyes, the heartbreak written into every line on his face. This was her fault.

"Scott, please...not now."

"Then when T?" He asked, voice raising slightly in frustration as she stepped away from him. As much as he knew that now wasn't the right time, he needed something, _anything_ from her to indicate that they would get through this. "Fuck, Tessa. I can't live like this."

"Go to hell," she muttered under her breath, pasting on a patented "show smile" as she reached for his hand and they took the ice.

~~~

He lay on his back, hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, an open bottle of Jack Daniels on his nightstand. In very un-Scott-Moir like behavior, he had skipped the end of tour party in favor of a bottle of Jack in his hotel room. He wasn't in the mood to smile or to make small talk. His life was falling apart.

_There's a bottle on the shelf, talkin' to me_  
_Sayin', "Come over here, you can have a drink"_  
_We can make it through this lonely night together_  


Down the hall, Tessa was in a very similar position, having also skipped out on the party in favor of being alone. She lay on her side, staring at the wall. Why did this hurt so much? She felt hollow, empty, numb.

She lay there for what may have been days, but was probably only minutes as she felt like the walls were closing in her. She glanced at the blaring red numbers on the clock: 1 AM, she either needed sleep or something to make her feel alive. She breathed in deeply, getting to her feet and slipping out of the room, padding down the hall in only her socks. She bit her lips, breathing in deeply as she lifted her hand to knock softly on his door. He probably wasn't even in there, he was probably out with the rest of the cast, she told herself.

_But that's a road I don't wanna go back down_  
_And I hate myself for what I'm thinkin' now_  
_Hey, it's just one night, it's not like it's forever_  
_I just want to feel better_  


She could hear rustling and a minute later, the door opened, revealing Scott, his eyes bloodshot and exhausted. "Hey," he offered a weak smile, eyes drinking her in. She looked younger than usual, vulnerable in an oversized sweatshirt she had stolen from him and a pair of leggings, her hair pulled into a bun and her eyes lined with sadness.

"Hi." She choked out, the tension between them palpable. "Can I...can I come in?"

"Of course." He stepped aside, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms but respecting the space she had put between them over the last seven days.

As the door closed behind him, he turned, his eyes locking with hers, a wave of something indistinguishable crossing her features. For maybe the first time in twenty years, he had no idea what she was thinking. Her brow furrowed and she let out a heavy sigh, stepping towards him, her hands reaching out for his face. Wordlessly, she was pulling him towards her, begging his lips to collide with her own.

He obliged, kissing her back forcefully as she shoved at his shoulders, pushing him back against the wall. He tasted like whisky and she tasted like wine and together they tasted of sadness and grief and fear and desperation. She pulled back slightly from his lips, tugging at his T-shirt in an attempt to pull it over his head.

"Tess - no... what are you doing?" He gasped, his head and body fighting a battle, his arousal already evident but his head screaming at him to stop her.

"Scott, please...I need you." She whimpered, peeling off her sweatshirt to reveal only a thin camisole. Her fingers tugged at his hair, pulling and pushing him towards her and towards the bed.

"I don't think this is a good idea," he husked out, his body betraying his words as he fell atop her on the mattress, hands pulling her thighs around him.

"Scott...I need to feel something, anything. I need to forget. I'm so numb." She admitted, tears pooling in her gorgeous green orbs as she begged him. "Please make me feel alive again."

"Tess, I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, pushing stray hair from her face.

_I just want to feel good, feel alright_  
_Feel anything but what I feel tonight_  
_I just want to move on with my life_  
_And put the pieces back together_  
_I just want to feel better_  


__

"I need you," she whispered. "Please Scott, just let me have this. I need you to give me this."

The desperation in her voice literally broke his heart in two, a lump rising in his throat as he took in the sight of her. She was such a shell of herself and he knew this wouldn't fix things, they were way too broken, but if he could make her feel better...

"Okay..." He whispered, lips crashing back into hers as her hands slid up his chest and into his hair.

_I just want to feel good, feel alright_  
_Feel anything but what I feel tonight_  
_I just want to move on with my life_  
_And put the pieces back together_  
_I just want to feel better_  
_I just want to feel better_

"I need you, Scott," She whispered, tugging at his clothes and drawing him as close to her as possible. "I feel so empty..." She sighed, a soft moan escaping her lips as his mouth trailed down her neck, hands slipping beneath the delicate material of her tank top.

"I'm here, Tess," he whispered as their touches grew more frenzied, her hands digging into his shoulders as if she was afraid he'd disappear if she didn't hold on tight enough. "I'm not going anywhere."

He let her take the lead, her body taking control in a way she rarely did, nails raking over his skin as she straddled him against the mattress, bodies moving together in search of something bigger than both of them. His hands clung to her hips, watching her face as her hips bucked with pleasure against his in a forbidden dance that they had perfected yet pushed away. She arched into him and he knew she was close. He bit hard into his lip, holding himself together until she lost control, her cries of both pain and pleasure echoing through the room.

She collapsed against his chest once he lost himself within her, hands still clinging to him. "Don't let me go." She begged, feeling his arms tighten around her.

"I'll hold you forever." He whispered, lips brushing her forehead as her warm tears littered his skin. He didn't say a word, simply holding her as she cried against his bare chest. He wasn't sure if this had been a good idea, but in that moment, he didn't care. Tessa was in his arms, and that was enough to give him an inkling of hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read and left comments on this one so far. I can't decide if it's too dark and depressing, but sometimes, I guess we need some angst.
> 
> Please leave feedback - it's endlessly appreciated.
> 
> Song credit - "Better" by Maggie Rose


	5. Someday, Maybe?

His chest was immediately heavy when he woke up, but to his surprise, for the first time in a week, it wasn't heavy with an unquenchable ache. Instead, Tessa Virtue lay atop him, her head resting just above his heart, arms wrapped tightly around his torso, almost as if she was afraid to let go. He shifted ever so slightly, allowing his eyes to drink in the sight of her as a single beam of light drifted in through the curtains, lighting her angelic face.

Over the past few months, watching her as she slept had become one of his favorite pastimes. He hadn't mentioned it to her, thinking she'd find it creepy considering their initial attempt at a low-drama, high-fun arrangement. She was so peaceful when she slept, void of nervous energy and untapped passion. She was breathtaking, and he felt a slight smile creep over the corners of his lips as he breathed in the distinctly-Tessa smell of her in the morning. It was strawberries and vanilla and a hint of sweat and a touch of sex, and it was utterly intoxicating.

He lay there watching her for what may as well have been hours, the sight of her sleeping bringing him a peace that had been missing for the last week. He hated seeing her hurting, hated her pain, but more than anything else, he hated feeling helpless. He hated that he couldn't take the pain from her and make her smile with a stupid joke. He hated that squeezing her hand or rubbing her back or kissing her temple wasn't enough for her right now.

Gently, he slid his fingertips up and down her spine, wanting to wake her without startling her. There was a flight to catch as they'd head off to their next destination, broken hearts tucked away. "T," he whispered softly, lips brushing her forehead as she stirred slightly, eyes dreamy and tired as they fluttered open. "Hey beautiful."

"Scott, hi." She smiled softly for a moment until her brow furrowed, hand instinctively drifting to her stomach and a frown crossing her lips.

"It's okay..." he whispered, squeezing her shoulders. "I'm here, Tess."

"I know," She sighed, face burying deeper into the crook of his neck. "Thank you for last night."

"Pretty sure I should be thanking you," he chuckled playfully, squeezing her tighter. "Can we talk?"

"No."

"Please...I think we need to..."

"I don't want to."

"We could call one of our relationship counselors? Maybe you need to speak to someone..."

"Scott, please... I just need to deal with this. Sometimes I'm going to be sad, and sometimes I'm going to be mad, and sometimes I'm going to be numb and just really need you to fuck me..."

"I get that T." His brows furrowed as he sat up, all broad shoulders and caring eyes and messy hair. "I will do whatever you need to get you through this, but...you can't keep it all inside like this. Scream at me, cry on my shoulder, punch me, rip my hair our, curse at me...take it out on me...with me, please."

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," She choked out, settling her back against the headboard. "We were just having fun...sex...None of this was supposed to happen."

"But it did, T." He gently slipped his arms around her body, brushing his lips against her bare shoulder, praying she didn't recoil from his touch. "I got you pregnant, and then...you weren't, and...now, we're here. Tess, I'm sad too. I know it's not the same and I know I didn't know about the baby before and I know that it's your body, but I would've loved our baby..." He trailed off, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "I would've loved our baby so much."

"I know you would've." She trailed off, lifting a hand to trail along his perfect jawline. "Any baby would be lucky to have you as his or her dad."

"And you as a mom." He smiled tenderly. "You'll make an amazing mom one day, Tess."

"I didn't even know I wanted a baby," She admitted, hand settling on her flat stomach. "I didn't know I wanted it until I took the test...and then I was so scared, but so excited."

He nodded, fingers entwining with hers as he begged her to continue. "There was something else...I liked about knowing I was having your baby," she admitted, her voice suddenly timid. "It was like a guarantee that you'd be in my life even when all of these skating opportunities dry up, ya know?"

"Why wouldn't I be in your life, even without a baby?"

"You weren't after Sochi..." She trailed off, her voice breaking.

"I've grown up a lot since then," He interrupted, never realizing how deeply she had been hurt by him after Sochi. It was the worst time in his life, and he knew it hasn't been easy on her, but maybe he hadn't realized how bad it was. "We're a team, Tess. Moir doesn't exist without Virtue."

"For now maybe, but what if we both ended up on different paths; you as a coach and me in fashion, or maybe we'd lose touch, but a baby...I don't know, it's silly."

"It's not silly." He shook his head, squeezing her hand. "Nothing you feel is ever silly."

"I...I guess I liked the last few months more than I was supposed to," She trailed off, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "I've liked _this_..." She gestured to the air between them, the tussled sheets, their naked bodies...

"Me too," He grinned. "I've loved the last twenty years of our partnership, I've loved the last two years of our comeback, I've loved the last few months of... _whatever_ this is..." He chuckled, wriggling an eyebrow at her. "I'm the luckiest bastard in the world getting to hold your hand every day, but I have no intention of living post-Sochi-life again this time. We're a team."

"But I betrayed us, Scott."

"You could never."

"My body did, Scott. It wasn't on purpose but my body killed our baby. It failed me. After all the eating healthy and all of the training, I skated in Vancouver barely even to feel my legs and now my body fails me? How is that fair?!"

"Tess, you didn't fail." He hugs her tightly, bare skin against bare skin as he holds her. "You could never fail me." He could feel a few warm tears against his shoulder and he only squeezed her tighter. "I read that miscarriages are very common...they happen to a lot of women. It just means that something wasn't right," He breathes into her hair, kissing her head. "So many women lose a baby and go on to have perfectly healthy babies afterwards. You didn't fail Tess, your body just did what it needed to do, but..." He trailed off, pulling back enough to lock his eyes with hers. "You are perfect, Tessa Virtue. You could never fail me."

"Scott, but..."

"No." His eyes held hers with a steely resolve. "You didn't fail me, your body didn't fail us. For whatever reason, it just wasn't the right time."

"What if it's never the right time?"

"It will be."

"Tessa...you are the strongest, most amazing woman I have ever met. You make me stronger and better every day I get to spend in your presence. You could never fail me or disappoint me," He smiled, eyes suddenly brimming with tears. "You're my best friend on this planet, the only person who really gets me, my other half and I will never be disappointed by you, I couldn't be."

She lifted a hand, wiping a stray tear that streaked down his cheek. "Scott..."

"No, Tess. Let me..." He gasped out, eyes locking onto hers. "I've loved you for twenty years, Tess...and maybe I've always known it or maybe I haven't...but I know it now. I've known it for the last two years. I've known it since I held you on the podium in Pyeongchang and every time we slept together in the last three months, I've known it more and more. And when I found you crying in the shower and my heart shattered and I held you as you cried and... God, Tessa, I love you." He finally breathed out, cheeks littered with tears. "And you could never disappoint me."

"Scott..." She whimpered, tears in her own green orbs as she stared into his dark eyes, not finding any hesitation there. "I..."

"You don't have to say it back," He shrugged, gently bringing a finger to her lips to silence her. "I just wanted you to know that I love you. I'm here for you and I will always be here for you and I will do whatever I can to make this better. I will hold you and love you and _make love_ to you if that's what you need... I'll do anything to make you feel better."

"Would you give me a baby?" She asked, causing his eyebrows to lift in surprise. "Not right now..." She laughed. "But maybe, someday?"

"Someday, definitely." He grinned, leaning forward to capture her lips in his own. She could taste his tears against her tongue as he kissed her deeply, passionately...and she knew he meant every word he had said. Yes, she was hurting and it would take time to heal this pain, but maybe she'd be okay. Maybe _they'd_ be okay.

Pulling back from his kiss, she lifted her tear-filled green eyes to his, a smile creeping over her lips. "I love you too, Scott Moir. I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised things would go up eventually.... Thanks again for reading! I know this story has been rough, but I've appreciated all of the nice comments thus far! :)


	6. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now can I say yes?" She smirked, hands settling on either side of his face as she pulled him towards her, lips crashing against his. "Yes Scott, yes!"

_One Year Later_

She let out a heavy sigh, the early-summer air dancing across her face as her back pressed against his chest, his strong arms enveloping her in a way that assured her he had no plans of letting go. "This is nice," She breathed out, leaning her head back to rest against his shoulder, tilting slightly to allow her eyes turning to meet his.

"It's perfect." He agreed, allowing his lips to find their favorite spot between her neck and her shoulder as they slumbered in the oversized lounge chair at this secret getaway house on the lake.

Wordlessly, his hands drifted to her stomach, settling comfortably against the thin fabric of her sundress, fingers lazily tracing circles against her skin. A soft gasp escaped her, quickly overtaken by a smile. "Scott! Did you feel that?"

"No," his brow furrowed, as she guided his palm over the small curve of her belly, wanting him to feel what she had just felt.

"Patience," She laughed, hands resting atop his as he impatiently tapped his fingers against her abdomen. She smiled contentedly, the new normal of their lives washing over her as the diamond on her finger glistened in the sunlight. It had been one hell of a year.

"Come on, Scott-ette, come say hi to daddy," He laughed, speaking in a new, higher pitched voice that he reserved only for talking to Tessa's belly.

"We are _NOT_ naming our daughter Scott-ette," She laughed, feeling their baby kick again.

"Oh my God, T." He gasped, tears suddenly and unexpectedly welling up in his eyes. "Holy crap, I feel it. I feel her moving."

"Finally!" She smiled, leaning back into his embrace. "I think our daughter may have my stubborn streak."

"If she's like you, I'll be the luckiest man in the world."

~~~

_Six Months Earlier_

"Scott! What are we doing here?!" Tessa squealed as he pulled into the nearly-empty parking lot, shifting the car into park before offering her his classic Moir grin.

"I still have some pull here, T." He chuckled, leaning over to brush his lips against her cheek.

Since Stars on Ice had ended and they had worked through the grief over her miscarriage, they had emerged stronger than ever. They had skated shows across the globe, and had decided that as good as they were as friends, they were even better as lovers, but even better as a couple. Although the terms boyfriend and girlfriend never felt quite deep enough, they had settled into an easy and comfortable relationship, loving the new side of their partnership.

He reached for her hand as they made their way through the cool Canadian night and he unlocked the door, gesturing for her to enter the Ilderton Skating Club, the place they had first met. Once they had laced up their skates, they hit the ice for a private session, and he could see she was giddy with excitement. They had had a raucous dinner with the entirety of the Moir clan and he had pulled her away into the night, promising her a special surprise.

"It's been too long since we skated here!" She laughed, arms wrapping around his shoulders as they skated around the rink. Although they were technically retired and between shows, they were always thinking about the next program, choreographing the next moves.

"So, I had an idea for a new program..." He began, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the center of the rink. They stood there silently for a moment in the dimly lit rink, echoes of a 90s radio station drifting through the air. He licked his lips nervously, eyes darting between her green orbs and her lips, drinking her in. "God, I love you." He breathed out finally, brushing his lips against hers before pulling her into the type of hug that had been commonplace between them before competitions. His hands slipped up and down her back, and he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against hers.

"Tess...You're everything to me." He let out, his voice catching in his throat. "I think I fell in love with you before I even knew what love was..." He trailed off, hand slipping into the pocket of his jacket as he slid down to the ice, settling on a knee before her. "It's only fitting that I do this here, where we first met, where I first held your hand, where I unknowingly fell in love with you."

She could feel the tears burning her eyes as she stared down upon the man who held her entire heart. "Scott, yes! A thousand times, yes."

"I...didn't ask you yet." He laughed, finally revealing the contents of the small velvet box. The diamond glistened in the dimly lit rink, and the only thing brighter was his smile. "I've been the luckiest guy in the world to have spent the last 21 years with you...Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue, I want to spend the next 21 years with you, and then 21 after that and then 21 more until we're old and gray and watching jeopardy. Will you marry me?"

"Now can I say yes?" She smirked, hands settling on either side of his face as she pulled him towards her, lips crashing against his. "Yes Scott, yes!"

~~~

_Nine months later_

Scott was certain he could never love another girl as much as loved Tessa, until he held their daughter. Sitting on the edge of his fiance's hospital bed, with her head resting against his shoulder, he held their daughter for the first time, and nothing could've prepared him for that moment.

Her eyes were green, her hair was dark, and she was oh, so tiny, and oh, so perfect.

"You did it, T." He smiled, lips brushing her sweaty forehead. "I'm so proud of you."

"She's so perfect," She whispered, her entire body aching but so full of love for the tiny baby in Scott's arms. It hadn't always been an easy road, but they had made it here, as a team. And now their team had one new, tiny member. "I love you, daddy."

"I love you, mommy." He whispered, tears spilling from his eyes for the hundredth time today before he brushed his lips to hers. "And I love you, my sweet little Isabella Jane."

"Izzie." Tess smiled, lifting a palm to brush his hair from his eyes. "Tessa, Scott and Izzie."

He shook his head, slipping the sleeping infant into his future wife's arms before wrapping his arms tightly around his two favorite girls. "Everything has changed," he chuckled. "And I'm the happiest man in the world."

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who joined me on this fictional journey! I hope the ending is what you hoped for! :) And thank you for all the feedback all along! I appreciate it so much. :)


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